I have always felt strongly against violence against children – be it verbal, physical or psychological. My heart aches every time I witness such an occasion and often I am frozen in inability to react in any way. Why it is so it a subject of a separate article (and some psychoanalysis I am open to admit); now I would like to spend my time elaborating on what this lead to me do in my professional life.
I spent my entire professional life working with business – be it in the role of an employee, a manager, a consultant or a trainer. At some point I started seeing and feeling the hypocrisy and emptiness of the fast-paced-profit-career-power-driven dynamic. I saw how the soul was slowing being sucked out of my colleagues (me included and I must say from today's point of view - I enjoyed it, too); how we became less human and more strongly identified with our roles and titles and positions and acted from there.
(while I was searching for a picture to put here, I found this video, it is 6 min comedy one
I still remember the feeling when I visited an office where I used to work and met with some of my former colleagues. Some seemed deeply disappointed, others were silent and diligent workers with no visible sign of passion or fulfillment, another group was frenzy, pushy and even mean to others; the whole atmosphere felt dull, empty, grey, contaminated. Some even call places like this toxic. When I told them about my research into next-stage, innovative, human-centered organizations, their faces lit up, some hope sparkled. By this time I was already used to a series of questions which followed: 1) Is this real? So not like a utopia only in the books? 2) Can this happen here in Bulgaria as well? I doubt it because of our conditions, our culture, you know our mentality here … 3) Oh, since there are examples in Bulgaria, I guess they are all in IT. They are more progressive, open to new things and have the money to experiment. Only after I have overcome these three objections would people start to listen to me and their imagination took them to a workplace where they would do something which they liked, which helped them grow both professionally and personally, feel fulfilled and valued in the pursuit of a purpose valuable for them. This usually lasts for a while and then they are back to the reality of their daily work like which I am told quite often is the “real world, grow up”.
One day in front of a group of people I found myself talking about a great frustration of mine – what was my work leading to, why was I promoting all these ideas of self-management, what was in there for me? I started telling my Whys and slowly but surely this emerged:
- I know from my psychological education and my own experience that the environment we are in (workplaces, schools, society, family) shapes us in more ways that we can ever imagine. Many of them are subtle and they shape us for life
- Most of the environments we live in challenge our capacity to build lasting, meaningful, healthy relationships
- We are rarely taught and trained on self-development, let alone spiritual growth. Good role models are rare in real life
- This results in majority of adults being frustrated, anxious, resentful, depressed, violent, hurting and hurt individuals who inflict pain on others often in unconscious ways
- I believe that fulfilled, accomplished, happy adults are patient, loving, present, emotionally-nurturing parents
- Such parents raise confident, bold, creative, happy children
- More children like this means for me more chances for living in a harmonious, healthy, conscious society
- Such societies mean the Earth has more chances to survive and our collective human Consciousness can raise to next levels
The last part is something which I believe is the meaning of life itself – raising one’s and the collective Consciousness to levels close to the Divine.
This is why I believe any form of management and leadership which promotes raising human consciousness and meaningful and fulfilling collaboration is something worth sharing.
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Nigel Stonham YouHappiness Spreader at Vienna Happiness Project